His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
