shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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