Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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