wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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