Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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