party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
