We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
