summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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