I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize