apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
