mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
