That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
