And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
