Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
