I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
this is an emotional support booty call
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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