did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize