Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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