How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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