Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
