So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
