Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
