It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize