he wants to bone in the snuggie
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
