He uses pillows to masturbate.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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