Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
