he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
