It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
