Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he laminated a picture of his dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we should paint friendship bongs
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
