watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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