My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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