OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
