my room smells like sperm. sweet.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
