WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
