North Korea, Best Korea!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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