I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
