I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
