it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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