Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My feet surprised me
Randomize
