is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
