Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
