Im at strip club and am horny
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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