I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
