dude i'm inner monologue high
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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