watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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