Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
