Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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