Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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