So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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