You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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