that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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