Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
