dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
