doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
