Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were trust falling into bushes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
