Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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