PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
