I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize