I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize